The Simple Life: Reflection on Being Mom

Monday 23 July 2018

Reflection on Being Mom

"I found the one my true heart loves..." - Song of Solomon 3:4

Lately I have been working on pre-children photo books, and David's sister Rachel just had her first baby on July 16. Looking through the old photos/memories, being around this new baby and talking to Rachel as she navigates the start of this chapter has made me reflect on myself since I became a mom.

It made me think about how I have changed since having children. {I still can't believe I have children... as in more than one. When did this happen?}

Well to start, I have less time, money, energy, sleep and hair {postpartum hair loss is a very real thing}! I find every decision I make is outlined by the question, "How might this affect my kids?" And I mean every decision. To the point that it's maybe a little overkill.

That first month after having Dominic was such a blur and a rush of reality. All of a sudden I have to think about someone other than myself, and I have to answer to that being 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. And it will be this way for the next...ever! While it's a major adjustment, and a challenging first few days/weeks, I am a much better person for it.

I love more deeply than I ever could have imagined. There is nobody on this planet that can make me smile as big as my babies can. People have commented on the way my face and body language change when I talk to or look at them. I think it took me a long time to actually feel like a mom. I still rediscover it every so often, particularly when I watch other people interact with Dom. Seeing the joy he brings others makes my heart full and I realize, "Hey... we made that!" {Okay, now I feel like I'm romanticizing having little kids.}

I have more patience than I used to. While I love them, my kids (particularly Dom at this point) have a real knack for testing our patience. I'm still learning how to manage the tantrums and strong will of the little ones, and I acknowledge that I will never figure it out. What works one day, may not the next. When I feel myself losing patience I try to repeat the word, "grace" in my head. Be gracious and patient. No. It doesn't always work; I'm human after all.

I put my children first. This is a bit of a pickle. It is so natural for me to want to put them first. They require so much of my attention and time that I often forget to take care of myself. Worst of all, though, is I forget that I have a partner. Growing up, I was reminded over and over again that when I have kids to ALWAYS put my husband before them. Why do they make it sound so easy? I think the season of life we're in with such little kids makes it extra challenging, but I have a really hard time with this. Typically by the time the day is over and we have an hour or two to ourselves I just want to sit by myself, drink a glass of wine, watch some TV and not talk to anyone. Poor David. He's been working all day by himself, and all he wants is to sit down and hang out with his wife. This is a work in progress. We try to get out on date nights, and try to talk about things other than the kids, but any other tips are appreciated!

I need to be held accountable to be Renee, then Wife, THEN Mom.