Well... I am nearly two months postpartum, and I have yet to do my "birth story" blog post. I figure it is about time.
For the first few weeks I didn't/couldn't do it because I wasn't ready to relive the hard parts. After that, I was just too busy! Newborns and all! It is finally time to get this going...
Forewarning, this wouldn't be an honest, realistic post if I didn't share all the details, so some of this may be a little TMI. For those of you who don't like the TMI stuff.. sorry :)
On December 25, 2016 I went about my Christmas day events business as usual. We had Christmas morning present opening and brunch at David's parents, and then in the evening my parents had a dinner at their house with the grandparents. By the evening time I was feeling completely and utterly bagged. I wasn't myself at all. I was exhausted and supremely uncomfortable. I snuck away a few times to lay down upstairs, but I was just yucky. Just DONE! We had been so busy the last while, I remember saying to David, "I hope I look back on the last few days and think, 'I'm glad I spent time enjoying everyone's company before having baby,' instead of, 'I wish I had spent more time sitting on the couch!'"
We got home and went to bed, but I didn't sleep great. Feeling restless and uncomfortable (as most people are at 39 weeks pregnant). We were up in the morning on December 26 around 9am or so. I still wasn't feeling rested, so after eating some breakfast I laid down on the couch downstairs to take a nap. I slept for a bit, but was woken up at 11:15 by a cramp. I felt like I had to go to the bathroom, so I told David I was going upstairs for a minute. As I walked into our bathroom I felt a little trickle, and when I sat on the toilet there was a GUSH! First plan of action? I texted David, "Plan B. Let's have a baby!!!"
David ran upstairs to find me sitting on the toilet, still leaking, and he was super excited and overwhelmed. He immediately asked what else we needed to pack for the hospital bag, and started frantically running around, and maybe taking a break to catch his breath and calm down every so often. We let the family know things were starting, and Scott came over to pick up Sherlock and bring me some pads. I asked for regular pads, thinking that would be enough to contain the water leakage. I had already gushed most of it out now right? WRONG! Boy I was naive. I was soaking through the giant pregnancy pads rapidly!
Anyway, still sitting on the toilet, I texted our Doula Joc (Joss), and called the midwife (Carole) to check in with them. Fluid is clear (except for some "bloody show"), contractions haven't started, and we were feeling good.
When Scott came to pick up Sherlock I was sitting on the couch downstairs. Still no contractions, but I noticed how squishy my belly felt! With all that water pressure gone, I could really push into it. This felt nice, almost, but also super bizarre, because I could feel the contours of our little boy so much better. He was still moving around lots in there, and seemed happy!
At around 12:15, an hour after my water broke, my contractions started. They were mild though. I was able to get some things done, like finish packing the hospital bag, eat a snack, take off my nail polish, take a shower, and get everything arranged.
At around 2:00 the contractions started getting stronger and closer together. They were lasting about 1 minute, and consistently 5 minutes apart. I texted Joc and she suggested I take some Gravol & Tylenol, warm up my heating pad and try to take a nap. She also reminded me to please let her know when we'd like her to come. I think we were all looking outside at the snow coming down and rapidly piling up. I didn't want her to have to drive in this, but we were also nervous about the road conditions later on when we had to go to hospital!
At 3:00 the contractions were still lasting around a minute, but were 3 minutes apart. This means they were one minute on, two minutes off, one minute on, two minutes off... exhausting! I figured I had a long way to go in labor, and I may not be able to eat for much longer, so I asked David to make some lunch. I had a huge bowl of chicken noodle soup, and a giant panini... Looking back, I think I ate too much too late... Oops! Since the contractions were so close together, and I was getting increasingly uncomfortable, I asked Joc to head over. I dealt with contractions from 2-4 by walking around the kitchen, and pausing to grab onto something (bar stool, counter, fridge door handles) to breathe and sway. I remembered in our prenatal classes to BREATHE and KEEP MOVING!
Joc battled the snow and arrived at about 4:00pm. She quickly got me hooked up to the Tens machine, which is little pads that stick to my lower back and tingle sort of. There's a remote so I change the mode to "BURST" when I feel a contraction coming on and the tingling increases dramatically. It's supposed to distract from the contraction pain. I don't know at this point whether it helped the pain or just gave me a sense of control. Press the button when contraction starts, and again when it stops. Something to focus on. I labored on the exercise ball for a while with Joc. She recommended a couple different positions, but nothing was as comfortable as bouncing on the ball. (As if I can call it comfortable... that's a stretch!)
My red blanket was my comfort item during labor. It's almost always my comfort item! Haha. Also, David brought up his giant thumbs up ornament thing... I was less than impressed!
Hip Squeezes!
Over the next hour, Joc continually asked how I was feeling, when we wanted to go to the hospital, etc. I didn't know how to answer these questions. I feel like shit, and I'm in pain, and I'm scared, and I don't know if I want to go to the hospital! What if we go and get turned away? What if I'm a wimp? What if I'm only like 1cm and I still have to do this for hours or days? At 5:00, Joc looked at me and said, "I've been here for an hour, and the contractions are now lasting 1-1.5 minutes, and 2-2.5 minutes apart. You've progressed greatly even in the last hour, and if you're feeling at all nervous about not making it to the hospital, we should probably go." That was enough for me! We were on the snowy roads within minutes heading over to the hospital!
We followed an ambulance down Fraser Highway to the hospital, which was sort of comforting (?). Alas, we made it to Surrey Memorial and found parking in the underground right close to the elevator. We opted not to pay right away (who knew there wouldn't be a chance for David to escape to pay later?). We went up to the FBU (Family Birthing Unit) and checked in. I waited for a triage bed for 20-30 minutes, which felt like an eternity. I wasn't feeling good, and I didn't want to freak people out with my contractions, so I tried my best to keep calm and pretend everything was okay.
A nurse came and gave me a gown to change into. People kept asking me how I was feeling... "Umm... you tell me... I feel like crap, I can barely talk, and my contractions are coming every 1-2 minutes... Not great!" Finally I got a spot in a triage bed, and my contractions just kept coming! What happened to this whole Early Labor lasting a long time thing?! My "early labor" lasted from... 1115-3(?), and most of that was basically nothing! Carole, the midwife, came and checked my progress. She informed me I was 5cm dilated. It was hard for her to check me, as every time she got ready I had a contraction starting. I was disappointed to hear the progress, "ONLY 5?! That means I'm only half way!!!" Joc graciously reminded me that dilation is only a part of the process. My cervix also had to move forward, efface, and then dilate. I've done most of the work already! Right... I remember that from class!
While I was disappointed with the number 5, David could see the nurse, midwife and doula casting each other "knowing looks". Carole stepped out and David heard her say, "We need to get her to a room... now." How is it fair that they make you get up to walk to your room?! That makes the transfer a whole lot slower when I have to stop every 20 feet to have a contraction. Joc was such an amazing support to have. She showed David how to help me, so that my husband could be there for me in ways neither of us knew I needed. Hip squeezes were my friend!
At 6pm I was moved over to room 233 which would be my labor & delivery room! You know what's annoying when you're in labor? That they keep demanding you pee into this little pan on the toilet... They're checking some proteins or something in your urine, but meanwhile I can barely focus on breathing, never mind aiming my pee... or peeing at all! I vomited for the first time while I was sitting on the toilet. This after I was bragging earlier about the last time I puked being on my birthday over a year earlier!
From here, Joc suggested I try out the shower as I liked heat for managing the contractions. This meant I had to take off my favorite little Tens machine. I labored in the shower for almost two hours. I remember the nurse coming in to take my blood pressure and check baby's heart rate and I asked her what time it was. "8:00" she said... WHAT! How is it already 8:00?! I swear it was just 5! The shower was a good thing for me. There was a detachable showerhead hose thing so I could aim it wherever I wanted, and the hospital has unlimited hot water! Yay! David and Joc popped in periodically to encourage me to drink some water, or eat some Popsicle (which I did reluctantly). They had also brought in the laughing gas machine to the shower for me. I was huffing away on that thing. I didn't particularly like how it made me feel, but it did distract from some of the contractions, which were relentless.
Finally they suggested I come out of the shower, which I didn't want to do, but agreed as I was, "turning into a raisin." I moved over to the bed to labor for a while. The nurse kept encouraging the laughing gas, but I didn't like it. It was making me feel sick. They kept saying it was a good thing, and to use it to cope with the pain, but... then I ended up projectile vomiting everywhere. I guess I shouldn't have eaten such a big lunch :(. Sorry Joc!!! Joc & my mom cleaned up, and they got me out of the bed so they could change everything.
From this point on, things became a blur. I was in so much pain, and the contractions kept coming. I felt like there was no break. They had me laboring on the ball for a change, leaning up against the bed. I had no awareness of who was in the room, who wasn't, etc. I always had someone there to support me. That's what was important. Who was immediately around me. Between my mom, Joc and David there was always someone there to encourage me.
At some point in the evening, my dad came in to say hi or something. He saw me sucking back the laughing gas and said something to the effect of, "Wanna share?" Through my delusion, I responded something like, "Why don't you come over here and I'll crush your balls and THEN maybe you can have some." I do not recall this AT ALL! Dad told me about it later on... How embarrassing! Haha! I wonder what other crazy things I said!
At 11:00pm, I was still on the ball, and I came to the conclusion that I didn't know how much longer I could do this for. I figured I'd be laboring all night. These things take a long time right? I was aware in my head that an epidural could take a while, so I figured if it takes an hour or so, at least I'll have an "end-time" in my head an I could make it till then! I was sitting on the ball and said, "I don't know how much longer I can take this... I'm going to have to call Batman... Batman!" No questions. Batman was my codeword. I knew me saying, "I want an epidural" didn't necessarily mean I want an epidural. If I said Batman, nobody was allowed to question me. I was serious. (I recommend this tactic!)
Carole came to check me again, and we found I was 7cm dilated. They went to check in with the anesthesiologist. When they came back, they let me know he would be around an hour and a half, and recommended I try some Fentanyl while we wait for him to be available. After I was hooked up to the Fentanyl, I could see the nurse and doula whispering... this can't be good...
The Fentanyl helps me for about 20 minutes or so and I'm able to relax (pfft... barely) and breathe through my contractions again. After this time, I recall saying, "THIS FENTANYL IS BULL! IT DOESN'T DO SHIT!" Haha... clearly it had worn off, and labor was back FULL force! I wanted my epidural. They promised me a nap when my epidural came... I just wanted a nap! I didn't care at this point about the baby, I wanted my nap so that I could have the energy for pushing. The nap became my sole focus... right around the time I realized I wouldn't be getting my epidural.
At 12:40 am on December 27, I was having full on pushing contractions. There is nothing more stressful that I have experienced in my 25 years than having to fight your body on this. Every ounce of energy was going towards not pushing, when every muscle in my body was trying to do so. At 12:50 I can't take it anymore, and I'm really starting to panic. They check me again and I'm at 9.5 cm.... How'd I go from 7 to 9.5 so quickly?! They don't want me to start pushing yet, as my cervix isn't quite ready. They lay me on my right side and ask me to stay there for 10 more minutes to see if I can get the last 0.5 cm.
12:30-1am was the longest and quickest 30 minutes of my life. I have never been so stressed... ever... There are no words to describe the intensity of these 30 minutes. It almost felt like an out of body experience. I am fighting my body, and I can just hear voices around me, "Breath through it. You're so close! You can do this! You're doing great! One step closer to meeting your little boy! Take some ice chips!" Everything in my brain is saying, "Don't push... don't push... don't push!" I was so panicked that I would "accidentally" push too early and cause my cervix to swell and end up in C-section. This thought never crossed my mind or stressed me out until this point. I did not come all this way to end up in C-section! I may have become rather... ahem... vocal during this last little while... "I WANT A NAP! I CAN'T NOT PUSH!" There were flashes in my brain of things we had learned in class, things I had heard from friends, things I had read online... Information overload!
FINALLY, at 1am, they checked me again, and I was 10cm! They took off the end of the bed and grabbed a bar that attached to the bed. I was to prop my feet up here and hold my legs for each contraction... Pfft... not great at taking instruction at this point. I needed numerous reminders! Haha.
At the beginning the nurse told me, "Alright! We have lots of work to do! Lots of pushing!" I told myself I should expect to push for a couple hours, as that is usually the case with first-time moms. I started pushing with my contractions, and figured out how to do it properly pretty quickly! Within 3 pushing contractions (10-15 minutes), I already heard, "I CAN SEE THE HEAD!" I had David on my right, Joc on my left, and mom straight in front of me cheering me on. Everyone (including the nurse) kept saying I was doing so amazing, and I was progressing perfectly, and the head was coming further and further! Sounds encouraging right? I didn't believe them! Haha. I have a friend who had to push for 3 hours after they could see the head. None of this, "You're doing awesome! So close!" talk for me!
A few minutes later, they started getting the table of tools and midwife ready for delivery... Huh... maybe this IS going quickly! Everyone was talling me they could see the head and then the forehead! At this, I said, "What?! I want to see!" and a mirror was brought in... Yikes... That's a sight!
The whole time baby's heart rate was strong and he was wriggling around. He would turn his head and wiggle and they could see him moving in the birth canal. What an over-achiever!
At 1:50am crowning started and they applied a warm compress to help my body stretch. I remember watching the head as I crowned and thinking, "surely that's all of it! There can't be any more!" I may have even said out loud, "Why does it just keep coming?!"
Also, this ring of fire thing?... I'm glad I was aware of it, but I was told it would last 30 seconds, so when it started, I watched the clock... PFFT! WAY LONGER! For me it was a couple minutes! They didn't want me pushing at the end to try allow my body to stretch out a bit, but finally I couldn't take it any more.
I pushed really good at at 1:59am on December 27, 2016 Dominic Stuart Kimber was born! (9 hours of active labour, almost 15 hours from the time water broke). His head came out and right away, before it was all the way out, he Superman punched his way out. His shoulders and body quickly followed. My mom says she'll never forget the look on my face as he came out and they put him on my chest. I think it went from, "OMG that feels weird" to" Holy crap... there he is!" He was crying before he was all the way out... again... over achiever.
David cut the cord, and the placenta came out quickly and easily afterwards, and then Carole was concerned with the amount of blood. We got it under control and then she stitched me up. Nobody ever talks about the stitches... I wish I had an epidural just for this part! My body was majorly relieved, and I had a baby on my chest, and I was feeling SO much better. I remember saying to Carole, "Why doesn't anyone tell you how much stitches hurt? I used to like you!" Ahhh the sense of humour is back!
Some people had told me before I went into labor that it sucks, but as soon as he comes out it will all be worth it. I wouldn't say that was necessarily true for me. There was immediate physical relief, but I believe the first words out of my mouth were, "Never again without the epidural..." The last 30 minutes before pushing were totally traumatizing for me. I couldn't think about it for a week afterwards without crying! So many emotions...
I told myself I would NEVER forget how scary that was, or what the pain was like, or how I felt... Now I look back and I think, "It can't have been THAT bad! I'd do that again... But just look at Dominic now! I love him so much!" Funny how our bodies do that... Make us forget these things!
Welcome to the world little Dominic!!
Dominic weighed in at 8lb. 8oz. His head was 35.5 cm around, and he was 51cm in length. That's a good sized baby! Apparently they weren't kidding when they said I was doing great. David let me know afterwards that they really were impressed how hard I worked and how quickly I got him out. I couldn't have done it without all the support and encouragement, no matter how cynical I was!
Everyone kept commenting on his colour, "He's SO pink!" Apparently that's a good thing! I can't believe how puffy he was. He had a ton of water weight, and those cheeks My goodness... How he's changed!
Someone (maybe David's dad?) asked me who I thought he looked like, or what I thought, or something like that. I responded, "He looks like an alien eskimo baby... like all babies!" Haha true love...
Dominic came out sucking on his fist, and they got him nursing within 30 minutes. I was exhausted.
At 3:00am, I was informed that Dad, my three brothers, and David's parents were all out in the waiting room and would LOVE to come in for a quick 2 minute visit. They all came lumbering into the room. I don't think I'll forget the looks on their faces. Dominic was being weighed, and I was just resting at this point.
At 5:00am, we were moved to room 203 for our postpartum recovery. You know what a weird feeling is? They bring you to this room, swaddle your baby, put him in the clear box thing beside you, and then they leave and say "press the button if you have any questions." Um... where's my instructions?! When do I feed him? What do I do? How do we swaddle? How long should he sleep? Can I sleep? They really just let you go! Stressful!
We were in the hospital until 11:30am on December 28. During our stay we had some family visitors. We were very ready to go home though! I got a tad emotional as we were getting ready to go, but I was also exhausted.
That pout though.
Strong neck from the start!
He was sooo tiny!
Dominic's head went rounded instead of cone-shaped so quickly. Little Gerber noggin!
Sherlock's first introduction to his new little brother!
What. A. Whirlwind! I can't believe how long ago this was, but also how it feels like it was yesterday, and how it feels like it was all some strange dream!
Every birth story is different, and I wanted to make sure I documented mine with as much detail is possible. I know I'll want to go back and read this some day, maybe with my next pregnancy.
