Lately - Back to a New Normal?

So my last "regular" blog I left off the day after Eva's birthday party on April 15, so that is where I'll pick up! 

Monday April 15 at 9pm I was booked in for my MRI after my stroke on April 12. (Here's a link to that post in case you missed it...). The MRI was intensely loud but I was incredibly grateful to get in that early!

Dave and the kids have gotten into playing Pokemon Go. I have no clue how it works, but I love it. 

Dave's new work toy! He's already done a couple shoots with drone and I'm just surprised it took us this long to get one. 

Eva is kind enough to share her new birthday toys with her siblings. 

Tuesday April 16 was Eva's official birthday and our little girl is 3! Sometimes I feel like I should be thinking, "I can't believe my baby is 3!" But I can. It feels very right that she is 3 and we're out of the baby stage and almost out of diapers forever. I'm ready for the next stage of life!

When I'm stressed sometimes I do weird things to distract myself. On her birthday I decided to pull out my sourdough pizza dough from the freezer and make calzones without a recipe just to see how it went. I am happy to report they turned out amazing! I was fully prepared to fire up the BBQ and make burgers when they flopped. 

Oma brought some ice cream sandwiches for dessert so we did that instead of cake! 

She sang Happy Birthday with us and I feel like that's probably the best way to handle the awkwardness of people singing happy birthday to you haha. Just join in!

Mom was over for dinner and then she brought Eva out to run an errand and then they met Emilia and I at horseback riding to watch for a bit. Emilia was initially paired with Horse (yes... a horse named Horse haha). I knew he'd be lovely, but she was hoping to ride someone not new. We still groomed and tacked him and wow is he ever a love. Definitely one of those horses used for therapy. It's like he could feel what I was feeling with my stress and gave me exactly what I needed. 

Emilia ended up swapping horses in class because another girl wanted Horse and she rode Lucy again. Was great to have some consistency, and her ride on Lucy was much better than last week!

Seriously. He was so great <3

I still get a kick out of her leading giant horses.

Happy Birthday Eva! After the kids went to bed, I got a call from VGH to come into the ER to be admitted to Neurology after their radiologist reviewed my MRI. Fun. Here's the full story, but essentially I had a stroke, I had a ton of medical tests at VGH, and was diagnose with a Pulmonary AVM which is what caused the stroke. 

The kids were concerned for me, but Dom figured he knew what happened and grabbed his Human Body book and opened to the nervous system page. Gosh I love them.

Now that I know more about my diagnosis I realize that the stroke really wasn't the problem/event. That was just a symptom that led us to the real problem. Just wild. 

I got home late Wednesday night and was pretty much toast all of Thursday. Absolutely exhausted mentally, physically, emotionally. After school the kids wanted to learn more about my diagnosis of a Pulmonary AVM so I grabbed a more kid-friendly book with a circulatory system page and explained what I could understand. I think Dom gets it haha. 

I also got a call on Thursday to get in for my Transesophageal Echochardiogram (TEE) the next day at VGH. The neurologist said it would likely take 1-2 weeks. Apparently things are continuing to move quickly for me... 

Friday my mom took the day off to take me in to Vancouver for my appointment as I was to be put under "conscious sedation" and needed someone to care for me afterwards. I was not really looking forward to this appointment. In fact, I was completely anxious. I was shaking on the table wishing I had taken a Clonazepam in the morning. I was nervous about the discomfort, and emotional because this was the final test I was waiting for to complete the diagnosis and understand what was going on. 

I think I may have been a bit too curious and too anxious and too something, because the sedation did not work on me... at all. They told me I may fall asleep during the procedure. Not. Even. CLOSE! I was wired. I was watching the screen. I could feel everything. I was very uncomfortable. I kept asking for more meds and finally they had maxed it out and couldn't do any more. The procedure also took almost twice as long as they expected it to. 
I have had it before with Gravol and Benadryl that instead of knocking me out it winds me up. If I miss that sleep window then it's game over. I wonder if that's what happened... 

Anyway, there were 3 cardiologists in the "room" (curtained off area) and one nurse. It was a good learning opportunity for the other cardiologists and for a few people to take a look at my test. In the end, they did not find a PFO and there is no right-left shunt in my heart. That's good news and it feels good to eliminate that. 

This one is better on video, and much less cool/clear than my initial echo which you could see all 4 heart chambers. Alas. The fuzzy stuff you see in those chambers is the bubbles from the agitated saline solution.

In the recovery area. Finally feeling relaxed. It just felt like I had had 3 glasses of wine haha. 
Can someone please help me with selfies? Golly.

I was sent a picture of my lung CT which shows my pulmonary AVM. That little wormy there! I think it's mirror image, so it's my left lung. Wild. 

They warned me that I wouldn't be able to drink or eat or anything for a few hours after the procedure, but I don't think their numbing meds worked properly either, so Mom & I hit the pub for some late lunch which did end up being almost 2 hours later I guess... 

Oh ya... they also said no alcohol for 24 hours. I texted a doctor to ask how serious that was. They said I'd be fine haha. Deal!

The next few days my throat was really uncomfortable from the TEE. I also think I had a cold (I've had a sore throat on and off for a week and a half now). 
I came home and had a half-decent nap and then joined the family outside playing. Kirstin had set up the sprinkler and water table and made nachos for dinner for everyone. I missed that part, but it was super helpful and appreciated!

It was suuuch a beautiful day!

Something about unexpected medical emergencies makes you appreciate regular life just a little bit more!

They wanted a photoshoot. Who am I to say no?! 

Friday evening we got Dom's Playoff bracket all set up because games were starting on Saturday. He has been looking forward to this moment since last playoffs. It's just that much more exciting because the Canucks are actually in this year!

Friday was also the first Sprint of the F1 season. Sprint was better than the actual race haha! Good to see Hamilton on the podium again!

The kids have definitely been feeling the effects of being off routine and having stress in the household. I promised Emilia we would make rainbow rice on Saturday for her birthday party  while Dom was at hockey. This coming weekend we plan to make rainbow Playdough and I'm excited!!

She also begged to join me on my walk with the dog that afternoon.

First time moving my body more than just around the house and errands since the stroke. Felt good!

That evening, during the bedtime routine (thanks for getting me out of that, doctor!), the neurologist from VGH called to go over everything. He wasn't able to do my discharge at the hospital so he wanted to touch base. He was shocked I got in for my TEE that quickly, and said he'd send the referral for a Respirologist. He figured the wait would be at least 2-4 months (which he said is quick), and if I don't hear from them in 4 weeks to let him know. Well wouldn't you know it... today (Thursday...4 business days later) I got the call to book with them for Monday (6 business days later)... 

I asked if there was someone in Surrey they'd recommend so I don't have to keep going to Vancouver, and he said he'd check, but he had a feeling they'd want to see me because of my case. I guess it's rare and very interesting. The hope is that they'll be able to embolize or coil the AVM and then I will be able to live a regular life and have no more risk of stroke than a "regular" person! I guess I'll find out some more info on Monday!

Saturday night Scott & Ash came over and we played this Bean card game. Bonanza? Something like that haha. I feel like I was finally getting the hang of it when it was over. Blast!

Sunday was a very busy day and I was honestly a bit anxious about it. It turned out to be awesome though! Started off with church. 

He's obsessed. Drawing Vancouver logos during the service.

They heard the young families and are starting a young children's program! It was the first one on Sunday so I went in to learn/take Eva since I'll be volunteering sometimes. Eva was engaged the whole time. I think she'll love it once she gets comfortable.

Greg & Liz Holmes (the best realtors) hosted a small appreciation event and invited me! They said I could bring a friend so I invited Amy to come make flower arrangements with me. They had snacks, and the person running the show (@styledbywild) was amazing! 

I'm pretty proud of my arrangement haha. I am not good creative and I do not have a green thumb at all.

A day of flowers! We were outside and our teenage neighbour (and babysitter) brought me some tulips just to say she was thinking about me and hoping I was feeling better. So kind!

That evening was the first Canucks playoff game! Dave invited some people over to watch in the theatre. We let Dom stay up for the first period and during the anthems I looked at him and he had a blanket up over his face. I checked in and he pulled it down and, with tears in his eyes, said, "I can't watch. I'll cry. I'm just so excited and happy." Hahaha Soooo adorable! He's been looking forward to this! 

Anyway it was a great game. Very entertaining and we won!

On Monday I kept the kids home from school. The morning routine was not going well and they were super dysregulated. I figured we needed a home day. I had some regrets when the three kids were absolutely bonkers at the grocery store, but I do think it was the right thing to do!

Tuesday Emilia was back on Blue for the first time in a couple months! She was so excited. 

The Neurologist said I should be able to continue my regular physical activities and just remain on blood thinners until told otherwise. I was nervous, but I decided to go to spin before work yesterday morning. I am SO proud of myself. I did it! It felt great! 

A couple random Eva moments...

She got into Emilia's little makeup kit and was dutifully putting everything (lip gloss, eye shadow, glitter) on her eyebrows while I was on hold with LifeLabs waiting to book my 24-hour heart monitor (oh ya. I have to do that too on May 7). I love Eva's resting face :)

First water table of the season out on our deck.

Oh this child. Emilia desperately wants to have a sale of some sort (like Lemonade stand style). She's such a little entrepreneur. She initially thought she wanted to sell some art and started making very random crafts with pen and tape and scraps of paper. 

We discussed it and she may be pivoting to selling cookies. Now I have to bake a thousand (not actually a thousand) cookies with her and we have to set up a bake sale! She asked if she could practice with us before hand so she's not afraid to talk to the strangers. 

I'm proud of her and definitely want to support this. My inner perfectionist feels anxiety for her. What if she fails? What if it doesn't work? What if she's disappointed?! Gotta press mute on that inner voice. 

She's really been developing her dramatic side lately and is all about pulling faces, doing voices, and being "out there". Trying to encourage it! 

Drew a moustache with her lipstick right before horseback riding. Sorry babe... I'm not cool enough to let you go out like this just yet haha!

"I have big boooobs!"

She brought me her first draft Cookie Sale poster. I guess she's learning about money at school haha. Not quite understanding the value just yet though :)