Kids Say

I've been gathering things over the last 4 months. I don't even write down a fraction of the ridiculous things that come out of their mouths because well... life. Also, it's often the delivery that's hilarious, especially with Emilia.

I was reading back through old posts and wished I had written at the top what their ages were, so I'll start now!
Dom: 4.5
Emilia: 3

Emilia: Where's my swindu?
Me: What's a swindu?
E: Where's your swindu?
Me: What's a swindu?
E: *Points to a toy*
Me: Ohhhhhh. Mace Windu!

I now see his torso is backwards

Dom: Mmmmmm... smells like we're having peragots for dinner!
*He meant pierogies*

Dom: I'm going to sit over here and pretend to be a baby in your tummy. This string in my blanket can be my umbi-cord.

I took Eva's soother from Dom and he was super mad. He hit me, kicked a bucket, came back and said, "Do you need new manners?!"

Reading a book with the kids and there was a glare.
Dom: Mommy, I can't see. The sky is in the way!

Emilia: Later, we need to give me another haircut. Because me hair not look very cute.

Dom: I'm growing and Aunty Ashleigh says no growing!
Emilia: Mommy, when am I going to grow 50 percent?

Me: It'll be Grandpa's birthday soon!
Dom: Then we can give him presents!
Me: What should we get him?
Dom: Mmm... a vase.

I'm trying to help the kids get started playing Go Fish and helping Emilia. 
Emilia *shoves me away*: No! You be away. We figure it out!

Emilia sees old picture of her with Santa
Emilia: Is Daddy being Santa?
Me: Mmm... no. Does it look like Daddy?
Emilia: Well Daddy has lots of moustache and so does Santa! 
*Daddy does not have lots of moustache lol*

Dom: Mommy, can you please pass me the book beside Baby Beluga? On the East. 
*He doesn't know his lefts and rights, but he can vector better than most adults*

Walking in from a summer walk to the "big park" with Oma.
Dom: Oh, it's so good to be home. 

Emilia: Mommy, I think mosquito had a question and that's why he bited me.
Me: Why would he bite you if he had a question?
Emilia: Because I wasn't listening. And then he got sad because I wasn't listening and went back to his friends.

Emilia's common misspeaks: Posciple, hostipal and "pick ever which book you want"

Dom: Have you seen somebody eating bird poo turned into mayonnaise?

Dom: Hey Mommy, I have a question. I told God something. Wanna hear?
Me: Yes...?
Dom: I told God if he could change the degrees to 26. Because right now it is 25.

Me: Dom, can you help me clean up?
Dom: Oh no Mommy. You can do it sweetheart.

The kids know they're supposed to ask before turning on their A/C, but we turn it on every afternoon since they get the afternoon/evening sun. 
Emilia comes downstairs after playing with Dom.
Emilia: Mommy, we are playing Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Dom is Mickey Mouse. Mickey Mouse is asking if we can turn on the air dishoner. 
Emilia another time: Mommy, you are Anna and Elsa mudder (mother), and Dom is baby Anna, and baby Anna needs to turn on the air dishoner.

At the dinner table. Emilia looks at me and says, very seriously, "Mommy, after dinner you and me are going to have a talk."

Emilia: *drops something*. Oh darnit.

Emilia: Mommy, where's my Elsa?
Me: I don't know hunny. Where do you think?
Emilia: ... I think someone came into our house and took Elsa

Dom: Okay, I'm just gonna start opening it (rice crispie square)
Me: Mmm... no you can wait. 
Dom: No. My manners were forgotten at the zoo

Dave and I face-timed the kids from Whistler. 
Emilia: Did you blow the whistler?

I'm taking the kids to the library.
Me: Dave, I'd really appreciate if you could do some tidying while we're out.
Dom: Daddy, if you can clean my room all the way, I would be so proud of you.

Dom: Jesse, I got into the Olympics.
We thought he was talking about competing in the Olympics, but he was just trying to say he got into watching them. 

Dave sneezes.
Emilia: Oh! You didn't scare the crap out of me!

Dom: Mommy, I want to go the other way.
Me: Nah, it's too late and this way is faster.
Dom: Come on. Just turn on your blinker and move over!

Watching the news and it's a little choppy.
Dom: WHY IS IT SO BUSTED?!

Talking about Gramma & Grandpa's new house.
Dave: It's not a townhouse like ours
Dom: So is it a country house then?

Having a bath at Oma & Opa's
Emilia: Oma, when I'm in the bath I fart different.

Dom: Mommy, would you be interested in reading a book with me? Or is it not a good time?

Overheard from downstairs while I'm upstairs.
Emilia: Hold on. I need some more wine... please can you hold my wine? And DON'T have a sip!