Lately - A Shift (Feeling Optimistic)

 2020 is a strange year. I feel like it's been full of a lot of change for me personally. I went from working, to not working at all due to COVID, to picking up a second job, to then all of a sudden over-working with the two jobs. The last month or two I have been a shell of a human. Those who know me well have definitely noticed. I realized I am trying to be everything to everyone, which in turn makes me unable to be anything to anyone. I stopped taking care of myself. I was completely exhausted and depleted, and gave myself no time to recharge. 

Well last week I had a revelation! Time for me to stop being "yes man" and start being "what's best man". (Just came up with that right now, and the rhyme pleases me). I decided it was time for a change, and I talked to the midwife clinic and let them know it was not working for me and my family, and I'd have to step back from my position as Medical Office Assistant. I was sad to make this decision because I do love the job, I love being at the clinic, I love the babies and pregnant ladies and behind-the-scenes, and the people I work with. 

They were so unbelievably gracious and understanding with my decision. I, being a people-pleaser, felt terrible leaving right after they spent 2 months training me for the position. Everyone was so kind, and they wanted to make sure they were doing everything they could to make me happy, so they offered to accommodate any schedule that would work for me if I was interested. I told them if I could get down to one half-day per week, that would be sustainable. Just cut my work by 75% and then we'll talk... I feel high-maintenance. 

Well, within a week of me giving my notice, they have accommodated my request and I will be working 9-2 on Wednesdays now instead of 9-5 on Thursdays and Fridays. I will still work this Friday to cover for them, but next week I start on Wednesdays. On top of this, the Spartan Foundation has asked me to come back to the office at least 4 hours a week. I was nervous about doing 2.5 full days out of the house with no childcare. 

I am so proud of myself for setting boundaries. I knew in a year if I looked back on this time I would regret working so much. Dave and I both noticed the kids weren't adjusting well to the change in schedule. Acting out more, more general anxiety, etc. The dog also wasn't getting the exercise he needs because we were too busy. Mine and Dave's relationship felt surface-y because who has energy for anything other than watching TV beside each other at the end of the day anyway? Another big important thing is that with no childcare during the week, Dave was having to be with the kids while I was at work. He can't get his work done while they're around, and he couldn't book any shoots on 2-3 days of the week. This was obviously not sustainable. 

Just the thought of changing our weekly schedule has got me feeling so much better. I feel like there is hope! Dom also starts preschool tomorrow, so I am glad I can be home more for him as he adjusts to that change. I'm sure I'll do a separate post on that adjustment later. 

I missed Thankful Thursday last week because I sat down to write my post, and realized I had taken only one photo since my last post. Pretty pathetic, but hard to take photos when all you do is work. 

Looking forward to this next chapter! In the meantime, here are some photos to recap the last week of our life. 

Dave took this pic of me snuggling and reading with the kids after work one day. We miss each other when I'm out this much.

Watching the truck clean our garbage bins on Friday. (They spend a lot of time in jammies lately haha!)

On Saturday morning I went to the $1 sale at church. People donate clothes, and then everything is sold for $1, with proceeds going towards the Storytime and Tot Romp program at church. They raised about $1,150 I think! I picked up 18 items. I went to get some preschool things for Dom, but left with 90% adorable things for Emilia (like the jacket pictured below). David was out at a golf tournament the rest of the day/evening, so after nap time the kids and I went to my parents' place to hang out with Mom. We made a trip down to the Holland Shop in New West, and then stopped at Once Upon a Child. Grateful she came with us, or else it probably never would have happened. I think I now have most of what I need for Dom's preschool wardrobe, aside from winter and rain boots!

This girl is a shopper. She thoroughly enjoyed herself, oohing and aahing at the clothes, and excitedly putting them in her buggy.

Dave was still out, so I watched TV and enjoyed my Dutch treats :)

This is what happens when I go out for a morning. Daddy is MUCH better at building forts than I am! 

Fall is coming! Also, it's so smoky here. The fires from the west coast of America are out of control, and the smoke has made its way up. We woke up choking and gagging one night because we normally sleep with a fan in our window. Bad idea apparently! Blew all the nasty smoke right into our room. Smelled like our neighbour's house was burning down. Seems like a waste of these beautiful sunny September days when the sun is mostly blocked out by the haze. Though the temperature has been nice! Looking forward to boot season!

Preschool for Dom tomorrow is just from 9-12. I wasn't going to do the Bento Box thing, but then I thought about packing his snack and realized how many containers I'd need. I'm giving this PC Bento a try. This is just a snack for Dom, so we'll see how I do fitting a lunch in there too! Mind you, this is a pretty generous snack. Maybe I'll sneak a dropjie in there as a special surprise too!

Here's hoping I can get back to self-care! Blogging, lettering, crocheting, cooking, living in a clean house, doing yoga! All of those things have been way on the very back burner for months. It is time!