An Otter or a Beaver?

While perusing my journal mentioned in a post before this, I came across a personality test I had done when I was 15, 8 years ago. Maybe I shouldn't be, but I am SHOCKED at the person I was...or thought I was. 

How could I have been so unaware of myself and my nature?

In the test, There are 4 animals: Lion, Beaver, Otter and Golden Retriever. You're supposed to go through and circle the words that you feel describe you. 

I re-took the test today and posted a picture below. The purple/pink circles are the answers I gave today, and the blue are the ones I circled on the old test from my journal. the yellow high-lighted words are the consistencies between 15 year old me, and 23 year old me. 

When I was 15, I viewed myself as an "Otter" with a, "Trust me! It'll work out!" attitude. 
I now view myself as a "Beaver" with a, "How was it done in the past?" attitude. 


When I look at the difference between these results I have a few questions: 

• Who was this adventurous, enthusiastic, energetic, spontaneous girl who feels that she has infectious laughter and enjoys change? 
• Is she still in here somewhere?
• Did I really change this much?
• Were my results swayed by those around me the first time? 
• If I surrounded myself with those people now would my results be similar?
• Am I really that much more aware of myself now?

Looking at the profiles (Lion, Beaver, Otter and Golden Retriever), I feel like Otter is the personality I would want to be. It seems like the "fun" one. The person who makes the most of their life, who doesn't stress about the little things, who draws people in and makes them feel good and happy. As an outsider looking in, that looks like an easier life to live. I wonder if the first time I took this test, I created the person I wanted to be, instead of accepting the person I was.

The reality of it is that I am a person who is a perfectionist, neurotic, persistent, practical, reserved, strong-willed, independent, predictable, controlling and sensitive among many other things. These traits, along with some parts of my gene pool, have led me to struggle with anxiety for many years. I have anxiety about failure, about change, about not appearing "fun" enough, about not being nurturing enough, about not appearing to have my shit together and about missing out on things due to my anxiety (it's a vicious cycle). 

The pent up anxiety about things like this have led to periods of moderate depression as well. I'll post at a later date more about living with anxiety, depression and the ways I've found to manage it. 

Over the past few years, as I get to know myself better, I have learned to accept most of these traits. Some are still easier to accept and live with than others, but talking about the struggles is the best way I find to combat them.  

They say opposites attract.

I asked David to take this test as well, and wouldn't you know it? He is nothing like me! He ranked highest in the "Otter" category. He also ranked quite highly in "Lion" and "Golden Retriever" personalities. However, he only circled 4 words in the "Beaver" category. We've known for years that we had opposite personalities, but I always find it interesting to have concrete evidence of it in activities like this. (That's the analytical side of me coming out I guess.)


I feel it is vital to do these sorts of exercises from time to time. It makes me more aware of myself and it reminds me that there are so many other people out there like me, who may have similar strengths and weaknesses. I strongly encourage others (especially couples) to take these kinds of personality tests. It can give you insight into how the other person functions and thinks, and how they may handle certain situations. It definitely helps with conflict resolution for David and I. We're able to articulate our thoughts and differences much better. 

Until next time!!