Putting in the Effort

Being a new parent is hard. You're tired, you don't know what you're doing, your chores are piling up, you're not sleeping or eating as well as you need to be, you're cooped up at the house most of the time, and you don't have the energy to put the effort in with your partner. 

At least, that has been my experience. While I really enjoy aspects of this, such as the smiles and talks with Dom, feeling so proud when other people experience joy from him, and not being at work, I find it hard to give David and our relationship the attention it needs at the end of the day.

David is often gone during the week for basketball before I wake up, and then he has been really busy (not complaining!) which means he's gone all day, and is often editing in the evening. I know this is the reality for MANY families - that Dad is busy all day while Mom is home with the littles - so again, not complaining. We have just found that it makes it hard to connect as a couple. 

Recently we've decided to really make an effort to connect as David and Renee instead of as tired parents. We try to spend some time together each day now after Dom is in bed (which is usually between 645 and 730) playing games, watching a show together, enjoying a nice bevvy, and/or sitting in the sun. Around my parents' 25th anniversary (5 years ago), the one piece of advice they gave was to always make time for each other, put each other first. 

Someone recently gifted us a restaurant gift card and wrote, "We give you date night - because your lives have changed SO much you probably forget to have alone time. Date night is cheaper than marriage counselling..." How true is this! 

While we are fortunate enough to have wonderful supportive family living close by to allow us to have the occasional night out of the house, there are also ways to have "Date night" at home. For us, lately that has been a drink and a game on the back patio in the evening sun (hooray for winter finally being over!). 

Any-who, I hope we can hold ourselves accountable to take time for ourselves and to keep building and strengthening our relationship. We're together 10 years this year (married for 5)! That's something to be proud of, and motivation to keep working at it for the next 10!

This is what backyard date night looks like. I am so excited for summer! We have a propane fire-pit as well so we can sit out in the evening with drinks and friends, while still being home so Dom can sleep!

Playing some sleepy-head. I may or may not have been triple daft :( 

My parents hung out at our house while Dom slept on Sunday evening and Dave and I took a couple hours together to go to Cactus Club for a late dinner. It had been quite a while since we got out. Especially as we're having to pinch pennies wherever we can!

This is me hiding from responsibility, pretending I don't have a child that needs me in the next room.

Another thing we do to try stay connected is go for a walk almost every day together. No phones, no music, just walking and talking and enjoying the outdoors.

Marriage takes work. Good habits are important. We are trying hard to establish good habits now so that in the future when things get even crazier and busier and more stressful, things will hopefully be easier.

Now, to unload some cuteness photos! <3

Dominic has recently started discovering his feet.

Getting better at tummy time! Hard work holding up that giant noggin.

Look ma! No hands! Dominic's first time forward-facing in the Ergo.

I propped Dom up so I could make my toast and he'd be happy. I turned around for 30 seconds and came back to this. These two are going to be best friends. Sherlock often walks up to Dom in the Jolly Jumper and licks his face/hands and Dom just grabs at Sherlock's fur and ears and feels his head. <3 <3 So grateful Sherlock isn't too discombobulated by the addition of Dom. Sherlock will always be my first baby!

He's an angry yawner