Extra Thankful Thursday - 47 (Just the Beginning!!!)

I have been wanting to write about this for a VERY long time. I had started many posts and kept deleting them after a paragraph or so. I just wasn't ready to share it with the world, only close friends and family... 

Some of you may already know that David and I decided to start trying to have a baby in November 2014. I always figured it would be easy. I mean... a friend had just gotten pregnant very easily, I was young and healthy, my mom got pregnant with 4 kids no problem! Boy was I wrong!

After about 10 months of "trying", I became exacerbated and frustrated and confused. Why wasn't this happening? We went to the doctor and discovered my body doesn't ovulate as regularly as it should. Instead of ovulating every 28-32 days, it was more like every 50-90 days. To determine this there was blood work, ultrasounds, many doctor appointments, and I started charting my Basal Body Temperature.

{If you or someone you know is trying to get pregnant, or is interested in tracking their cycle I highly recommend tracking your temperature! You can ask me for more information or there are tons of resources on the internet. I love feeling so in tune with my body and always knowing what is going on. I wanted to share the details of my charts with anyone and everyone... whether they wanted to see or not...}

Over a year went by... nothing. We started discussing fertility options like Clomid with the doctor. Clomid is a medication you take that forces your body to ovulate. I was hesitant to go this route quite yet as there can be greater risks of multiples and pregnancy complications (often these go hand in hand). The doctor suspected I have PCOS (Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome). This is a condition which causes your body not to ovulate regularly. I was always a little bit skeptical of this diagnosis as all my tests came back regular and I didn't have any of the typical symptoms; just anovulation. 

Every time a friend announced their pregnancy I was happy and excited for them, but also grieving a bit for myself. It was very complicated and exhausting and confusing. I tried to be open about our struggles with anyone who asked, but as 14 months rolled by I started withdrawing. I was angry... frustrated... embarrassed. I slipped into a depression. 

I knew/know our problems are minuscule compared to some families' struggles, and that made me feel guilty at times.  

My depression continued and I went to the doctor on March 1st. She was empathetic to our situation and agreed to put me back on my Wellbutrin medication. It's a relatively new medication and there has not been enough research on the potential side effects on pregnancy and babies, so we agreed that if/when I get pregnant I will taper off the medication. 

The medication can take a week or so to kick in, and wouldn't you know it... 6 days after I started taking the medication I ovulated. Whether it was psychosomatic or not, I was thrilled! Maybe I really don't have PCOS and it really was just anxiety/depression preventing me from ovulating regularly! 

I knew we didn't time things "properly" that cycle, and I wasn't going to be pregnant, but I started feeling optimistic for the next cycle. During that next cycle I started feeling angry again. I didn't understand why we had to struggle with infertility while so many others had it so easy!I felt like we were being tested, or like there was some life task we had to complete before we'd be blessed with a pregnancy. It was all very confusing. 

Present(ish):

Nevertheless, I ovulate (albeit later than "normal" people) in April! We time everything perfectly, and I have all the good ovulation symptoms (if you know what I'm talking about, you know... if you don't, that's okay... it's TMI). We also use a product called Preseed, which you can Google if you are curious about it. I wonder again if the Wellbutrin has balanced my body enough to be "normal".

I don't want to get my hopes up, but I start having a pinching feeling at about 6 days post ovulation. It feels like something is pinching me two inches below my belly-button from the inside. That is a new feeling to me! I Google it, and every single thing I read said it is implantation, and every other woman who felt it got pregnant the cycle they had it. Huh... the plot thickens... 

I still don't want to get my hopes up. Maybe I'm imagining those feelings... I am the QUEEN of symptom-spotting after all. 

At 15 days post-ovulation, I've been having symptoms similar to PMS (mood swings, tender breasts, light cramping), but I don't have the main feature yet. I decide to (somewhat reluctantly) take a pregnancy test (or four). Wouldn't you know it... POSITIVE!!! I'M PREGNANT!!! I cannot believe my eyes! I go wake up David to tell him the good news. He is OVERJOYED. He is very groggy and it takes a few seconds for him to understand what I'm saying, but wow... 

Sherlock wondering what all the kerfuffle is about and why I won't let him eat the stick! 

Not the greatest photo, but you can definitely see two lines!

Quick celebration before getting ready to go to work!

I am finally able to officially announce to you all that David and I are having a baby! I will put up a post for each week of the pregnancy to keep you nosy people up to date.
{Don't worry, I am DEFINITELY one of those nosy people.}

A HUGE thank you to everyone who has been thinking about us and praying for us the last few months/years. Also a thank you to those who listened to our story when we were willing to talk about it, but didn't pry when we'd rather not. It's been quite the journey and I can't wait for it to continue!

I am currently 10 weeks + 2 days Pregnant!
Estimated Due Date: January 4, 2017

This is the photo we sent to family as our announcement. Mr. Sherman is going to be such a great big brother!!

Here he/she is!! Little feet kicking out... looks like maybe sucking its thumb? AMAZING!!!

EEK!!!

P.S. Yes... it's still early (before the 3 months milestone), but we cannot contain our excitement any longer!