4 Weeks of Parenthood

Dominic is 4 weeks old today, he will be 1 month old on Friday. Wow!

What a profoundly challenging, fun, rewarding and educational 4 weeks we have had. Nothing can ever prepare you for the first few weeks with your first child at home. 

While this is the hardest thing we've ever had to do together, I would say the transition in our life has gone as smoothly as it possibly could have. I feel like, for David and I, the huge transitions in life seem to go this way. Getting married, moving in together, buying a house, moving a few times, getting a puppy, starting a business... People tend to ask, "So? How does it feel? Were you prepared? How's life with a baby?" To be honest, it just feels... natural. It feels like the natural next step our marriage was supposed to take. We were as ready as we could be, but I think it was just the right time for us. As with all our other major life changes, it's not easy, we do struggle, nothing is perfect, but we make a great team and tackle the changes together. 

Along the lines of learning to work as a team, we've learned a lot about ourselves and each other. We are learning about our different levels of patience, coping skills, and communication through frustration, sleep deprivation, screaming babies, etc. 

On the lines of sleep deprivation, I haven't slept longer than a 3 hour stretch of sleep in 4 weeks! How am I functioning? These 3 hour stretches just started a couple days ago too. Before that, it wasn't longer than 2.5 hours. Life really is/was just a series of naps. 

Life with a newborn reminds me in some ways of life with a puppy in some ways. Our lives and conversations again revolve purely around baby's poop, pee, whining/crying, eating and sleep. I am starting to be able to decipher Dom's cries most of the time. He has a new one now which is his "overwhelmed/overtired" cry. He has just started becoming more aware of his surroundings, which can cause him to be overstimulated and become inconsolable until we go to a less stimulating environment. We don't often hear the hunger cry as I try to catch his earlier hunger cues when possible. Then there's the pain cry... This one is sudden and shrill/piercing and usually lasts as long as his cramp lasts, sometimes just a few seconds.

I am surprised how quickly I've fallen for this new man in my life. I've heard it can take a long time, and I expected to not feel the love for at least 4-6 weeks or so. There are so many adjustments and challenges and learning curves the first few weeks, that it can be hard to feel a bond for this intruder that is constantly attached to your boob or crying. It wasn't immediate, but it did happen quicker than expected... probably around the time breastfeeding became routine instead of a stressful experience... 2.5 weeks? 

It is a bit harder for David to bond with Dom. For a few days there Dom just cried all day long, Dave just felt like the baby cried every time he was holding him, and that was a struggle. We are working on figuring out good ways for them to bond. For now David helps out wherever he can... burping, rocking, soothing, changing. It is tough when all D want to do is nurse. It will become easier as Dom becomes more interactive. Dom is getting so close to smiling at us for real I think! He's just started having more happy awake time, and more awareness of his surroundings. He focuses on patterns, lights, faces, and his hands. Can't wait for those first smiles <3.

As much fun and craziness this month has been, I do wish life wasn't so difficult the first couple weeks so we could really cherish the first few moments of our newborn son. Very normal I'm sure. It's so hard to appreciate the new life when yours is turned upside down. 

Anyway, lessons I've learned from our first 4 weeks?
- Don't forget to take care of yourself. It's like the oxygen mask on a plane... always make sure yours is on before you try to care for anyone else. If you're not healthy (not eating, sleeping, taking time for yourself, etc.), you are going to be no good to anyone else.
- Don't be too hard on yourself. This one I learned the hard way after our struggles with breastfeeding. I felt like a failure, like feeding Dom formula from a bottle was somehow going to mess up future breastfeeding attempts, like my body was failing me and him. These were very real feelings at the time, but looking back, they were fueled purely by lack of sleep and crazy hormones!
- Be honest. When people ask how it's going, don't just say, "Great!" Everyone knows that's a lie... The first few weeks are hard. Be honest with yourself and others. If you don't, you may miss out on valuable opportunities for support. I have tried to be vulnerable and open with everyone about how things are really going, and I have never felt such an overwhelming amount of support and love from family, friends, acquaintances and even people I've never met! If I hadn't been honest, I think I could have quickly slipped further into terrible habits of the first two items on this list!
- Care for baby to the best of your ability. I don't have any advice on actually taking care of baby... Every baby is different, everyone's experience is different, and I highly doubt there is any pattern. 

I'm sure there is much more I could add to this list, but I had to squeeze in what I could between feedings while D was sleeping! **Cue crying baby**

Now for a few (out of order) pictures from the first 4 weeks as a family of 4!

Day 4

First week at home

Day 1!

1 Week old

1 Week old

2 Weeks Old

3 Weeks Old

Little hoodlum!

Nap time with Mom

4 weeks old!